So I turned in my paper for Sherman's class.  I feel relieved and now unmotivated.  But I still have to finish my reading and do Michelle's paper.  Gosh, this Palestine's book is boring.  How can I write 4 pages by Thursday?  Damn it!  I am so lazy!  This is gonna kill me.  Anyway. 

Guess what?  I saw Shawn Wong, for the very first time, after summer.  I saw him outside of By George.  Oh gosh, I was so scared to see him again.  So I ran. 

I hate this fucking weather.  Where is the sun? 

well, this is my first draft of Sherman's paper.  doesn't seem too good.  any thoughts?

The Mixing Bowl:  The Conflicts of Parents’ Power and Interracial Relationships in

Zwick’s My Big Fat Greek Wedding & Hedge’s Pieces of April

            According to the census data in the 90’s, there are 1,600,000 marriages out of the total 220,000,000 marriages in the United States are considered as interracial marriages.  The data suggests that people would still prefer getting married with people of the same color, so they do not need to overcome the pressures from their families.  As a member of Chinese immigrants, I am also taught that I can only get married with Chinese, because people of other colors, will not understand my language or any historical Chinese background.  Interracial relationships is an important theme in Joel Zwick’s movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Peter Hedge’s movie Pieces of April.  Both the main characters, Toula and April have to overcome the obstacles of having a relationship with someone who is from a different race than them. This causes huge disagreement from their parents. Should parents have the power to control who we choose to marry to?  Marriages are based on the husbands’ and wives’ happiness; therefore parents should give any suggestions or criticisms even when one chooses to marry to someone of a different color than him or her.  Parents cannot help their children to overcome the existing problem in an interracial marriage, and the solution is based on the couple’s compromise and their willingness in accepting a brand new culture.    

            I was fourteen when I immigrated to the United States and we stayed in a town house in the south bound of Renton, where the majority of our neighbors are blacks.  It was not easy to be a part of the members of the minority group; especially we did not know how to speak English.  Because of the difference in skin colors and languages and being the few Asian immigrants who did not speak English, both my brother and I were beaten up at school.  Instead of forcing us to study hard, I remember clearly that the first thing that my parents taught us after we moved to United States was, “Chinese can only get married with Chinese.”  This statement still stays in my mind, even though my parents have not mentioned to me again.  I agreed with my parents, “Because of my yellow skin, the fact that I do not speak English, and I eat rice more than they eat hamburgers, people at school resent me.  There are not any possibilities that I can even be a friend with them.  It is needless to dream that I will ever date anyone from the mainstream American cultures.  I am not ‘their people.’”  I have been carrying this concept all through my high school years.  

                The idea of not allowing children to have a relationship with people of a different color does not only exist in my family, but also in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  Toula’s father furthers my parents’ argument by suggesting that marrying to people of a different color is forbidden in one’s culture.  In the beginning of the movie, Toula’s father tells Toula, “There are three things that a Greek girl should do:  Marry Greek boys, make Greek babies, and feed everyone till the day they die” (My Big Fat Greek Wedding).  Similar to my personal experience, Toula’s father thinks that it is wrong for Greeks to marry to people of a different race.  In addition, this quote emphasizes that Toula’s father has control over Toula.  Besides forcing Toula to marry to Greek boy, Toula’s father also limits the things that a Greek woman should do.  For Toula’s father, a Greek woman should only make Greek baby, take care of the household and ensure the family will not suffer from lack of food.  Even though parents are the most important people in one’s life, they do not have the power to control their children’s life, other than to ensure they are not doing something that is illegal.  It is known in the movie that Toula is a grown up; therefore she should have her freedom to choose whom she would like to marry to.  Getting married to someone of a different color should not be considered as “illegal” in the family, because it actually gives Toula the opportunity to learn a different culture.  More importantly, as a supportive father, Toula’s father should not tell Toula to only stay home and take care of the household because there are a lot of things that women can do, other than giving birth.

Unlike Toula’s parents, April’s parents automatically abandon April because she is dating a black boy, Bobby.  For April’s parents, it is wrong for her to date some black boys because whites are in a higher class than blacks.  In the scene when April’s mother, Joy, comments about Bobby, she says, “New piercing, some ugly tattoo dude that messes up her life” (Pieces of April). In addition to Bobby’s race, Joy also uses ear piercing and ugly tattoo to conclude that Bobby has bad influences for April; therefore they are not meant to be together.  This particular scene once again illustrates the kind of control that parents have on children.  Due to the fact that Bobby is black, Joy resents him and considers that Bobby messes up April’s life.  More importantly, Bobby’s ear piercing and ugly tattoo emphasizes that Bobby is in a different class from April’s family.  For Joy, only black boys will have these kind of accessories and white boys will not have those.  Joy’s statement, however, does not hold true in today’s society.  Even though ear piercing and tattoo are symbols of black cultures, it does not mean people with it are automatically considered as not moral and lower class.  April’s parents have not even met Bobby; therefore it is wrong for them to make generalizations about him.  In addition, they also have to realize that appearances are not qualities to define a person’s personality.

I have been carrying the concept of “Chinese should marry to Chinese” all through my life.  Throughout my eight years living in the United States, I am not open to interracial relationship, or even meet any friends other than Asians.  I was taught that way; therefore I disagreed with this concept.  As time progresses, I have not realized my parents began to accept that we are living in a non-Asian community.  When I was watching Pieces of April at home with my father, he told me, “I would not mind you dating a black guy.”  I was shocked when I heard my father’s comment.  For all the years that we have been resented by the blacks, I was surprised when I noticed my father is open to interracial relationships.  My father’s reaction to Pieces of April suggests that parents should no longer having control on their children’s choice of getting married, or having a relationship with people of a different race.  As generation changes, parents can also have a different perspective in viewing interracial relationships and be supportive.  The first step for parents to resolve the problem is to accept the differences in culture and not all people of a different race are considered as “bad people.”   In response to April’s story, one have to realize not only black boys will have ear piercing and tattoos, therefore parents do not have the right to make these kind of unnecessary generalization when they are not aware of different cultures other than their owns. 

            Besides parents should have a more open mind to accept different cultural backgrounds, the couple themselves can also make interracial relationships less problematic by willing to compromise and have good communications with both their significant other halves and their parents.  As can be seen in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Toula’s lover, Ian, is willing to learn the Greek culture and become a part of Greek.  In addition, he also realizes the importance of communications.  In the scene when Toula comes to visit Ian at his middle school and asks Ian to go somewhere else to get marry, Ian replies to Toula’s frustrations and sorrows about her parents’ negative comments about their marriage, “You are a part of your family.  I will do whatever it takes for them to accept me.  You are my whole life now.  We are not gonna go away to get marry, as if we are ashamed of ourselves”  (My Big Fat Greek Wedding).  In order to make Toula’s parents to accept him, Ian is willing to do anything to make this marriage to work.  It is important step because he not only is able to have Toula in the end, but also learn a minority culture, in which not all whites can have the opportunity to do so. More importantly, he believes that in order to make Toula’s parents to accept him, he should also accept the difference between white and Greek culture and that is something that no one should be ashamed of. 

            In addition to being open to a different culture other than one’s own, another way to make interracial relationship less problematic is notice the importance of our significant other halves and really cherishes them regardless of other’s negative criticisms.  This kind of love to each other cannot be provided by one’s parents; therefore parents should not have any disagreement with their children’s choice.  In the scene from Pieces of April when Bobby is making the turkey decoration, he tells April, “You deserve this, because I love you”  (Pieces of April).   Given that both April and Bobby realize that it may not be possible to change the perspective of April’s parents in viewing their relationship, April and Bobby’s love for each other shows that they can be just as happy regardless if they can change April’s parents’ point of view.  More importantly, the fact that April has not judged Bobby based on his ear piercing and tattoos implies that April does not believe all blacks are in a lower class than whites.  In addition, April is even willing to live with Bobby in an old apartment in New York suggests that April has already accepted this black culture as a part of her life. 

            Unlike the past, there are 71 % of parents have already accepted the concept of interracial relationship.  This data suggests that people from today’s society are more willing to accept the difference in culture, color, background, and status than before.  As Toula’s father says in the end of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, “Miller [means] apples and Portokalos [means] oranges. Even though they are different, they are still fruits” (My Big Fat Greek Wedding). In the beginning of the movie, Toula’s father resents Ian, yet he finally accepts him in the end.  Toula’s father’s quote emphasizes that interracial relationship is no longer as problematic as before, because he realizes there is true love in this marriage and they are willing to compromise.  Ian’s willingness to learn Greek culture causes Toula’s father to accept him.  This emphasizes, as time progresses, one will change his or her perspective in viewing people choose to marry to people of a different race.  Both Ian and Toula as well as April and Bobby’s relationship shows us that interracial relationship can be less problematic when they know the correct method in handling the existing problem, and this is something that cannot be done by the help of parents. 

Yes, I am really bored.  I don't wanna write this paper anymore, or do any reading. 

001) What time did you start this?: 4:52 pm

002) Name?: Natalie

003) Date of birth?: 3/30/82

004) Sex?: female

005) Height?: 5'7"
006) Eye color?: Brown
007) Hair color?: Well, I just highlighted my hair (thanks Janice) so it's looks like orange in the sun, when it's supposed to be blonde.  And after I dyed my hair last month, it's more like reddish brown, so I don't know what should I call it now.  But yeah, not black.

008) Location?: Sammamish, WA

009) Where were you born?: Hong Kong

012) Do you have crush on someone?: Well, I wish I can say no.  But yeah.

013) Do you have a bf/gf?: Will never have one, I am too dumb.  :(

015) How long have you been together? Refer to #13
016) What are you wearing right now?: Shorts and a big Mickey Mouse shirt.

017) Would you have s*x before marriage?: never, I'm a good kid.  lolz. 

 
018) Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? Heck no. 

019) Are you a virg*n?: Feel proud to say yes.  I don't really talk about sex in public either.  Yeah, I'm weird.

020) Do you smoke?: nasty…nope…
021) Do you drink?: Occasionally

022) Are you ghetto?:Nah, my dad is right, I still can't stand that.

023) Are you a player?: Of course not, I take things as serious as possible, espeically relationship crap.  People should know what happen to me lately.

024) What are your favorite colors?: black, blue, purple, pink, silver.

025) What is your favorite animal?: Cats, cuz I'm a girl.  (Yeah yeah.)

026) Do you have any birthmarks?: Nope, though that would be a cool thing to have.

027) Have you ever gotten you’re a** kicked?: Yeah, Chris did.  (thanks brother.)

028) Who is your best friend?: Vicki (thanks for being there for me all the time, luv ya!)

this paper sucks big time. 

BUT

Happy Mother's day! 

New layout, nice eh? 

This paper is still not going anywhere.  I wanna talk to "someone."  But then, I don't wanna get yelled anymore.  Perhaps, I should focus. 

I miss the days when you were in my world
It seems like it was a lifetime ago
We said our goodbye with tears
And promised to not let the years get away
But that's something you just had to say

In my pain, is where I've tattooed your name
Was it a dream? Was it a dream?
Going round and round and round and round
Your heart

Jeremy said he saw you out on 2nd Ave.
And you looked like you could use some sleep
You told him you sobered up
But now you are giving that up, 'cause sometimes 
Love isn't stronger than wine

In my pain, is where I've tattooed your name
Was it a dream? Was it a dream?
Going round and round and round and round
Your heart

I wonder what you must think about me
What I heard is you consider me dead
I guess that's fair on you
I never was good to you, I'm ashamed
For making you feel all my pain

When I sleep, sometimes I still think we speak
Is it a dream? Is it a dream?
Going round and round and round and round
My heart

Such a good song. 

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